Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Times They Are A-Changin'

Back when I was pregnant, I made the decision to breastfeed Olivia. Not only is there all the health benefits for mom and baby, but practically, it was cheapest. Let's be honest, not working for 6 months made frugality a high priority. I figured I'd be fine nursing her until I went back to work, at which point, I would wean her and that would be that.

Well, that wasn't that. Despite many struggles early on, we persevered, and I went from disliking it to loving it. Through pumping and freezing, I managed to keep most of (and then half of) her feedings milk-based through these 8 months. But, the day had to come when I ran out of frozen milk. I knew also that I would eventually stop pumping, and that she would eventually stop nursing. It just hasn't been an easy transition for me emotionally. And on December 3rd, we used her remaining frozen milk for a bottle at daycare. Even harder was the night recently when she refused to nurse completely. Ultimately she was both full from dinner and exhausted, and she has been nursing better since. However, I definitely did not handle it well; I was mopey all night. I ended up contacting a friend who encouraged me that Olivia is just getting older. I guess self-weaning happens, but I've been hoping it wouldn't happen until later.

Regardless Olivia is getting bigger, and she's eating so much food, which is something to be celebrated. In fact, I took advantage of a Black Friday deal at Babies 'R' Us where our favorite jarred food was buy one case, get one free. This purchase came on the heels of other grocery store and Target purchases of baby food. When I put all the food together, I was amazed at the visual representation of how far we've come! No wonder my baby girl is nursing less and less - she's eating more and more real food!

So, it is what it is, and life goes on. Olivia grows up, and I must learn to accept where she's going, not hang on to what she was. And formula is just as easy to manage... I can definitely live without my deflated chest causing my squishy tummy to stick out more!

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